As I mention in my book (Amazon), self-control is one of “the fruit of the Spirit.”
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:19–23 ESV
The presence of “self-control” on this list can confuse readers. Fruit come from a tree without any perceivable effort. So, if these good works are flowering from a person, why does he need self-control? Far from being controlled, one would think that good works should simply “flow” from a self rather than require self-control.
In this model, self-control takes “will power” because the self tends toward acting wrongly and you must restrain your “self” from doing so. Rather, you should force your “self” to act differently.
I think one of the problems with this conception is it doesn’t account for time and growth.
When a piano student exercises self-control to make himself engage in the unpleasant task of practice, he doesn’t do so because he looks forward to the same discomfort and difficulty at the future date when he plays for the public. Self-control is self-training. The tasks become easier. He gains skill and confidence so that pieces of music that were unthinkably complex become reachable goals. Then, with more practice, they become easy for him.
Consider this passage:
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.
Psalm 32:8–9
Does every horse or mule require such effort and struggle all of the time? I don’t think so. Most domestic animals, once properly trained, respond readily to the will of their rider. They stay near. They don’t resist the bit and bridle.
If you train a steed to pull powerful loads, you may have to use the reins extra hard for an especially heavy load over an especially rough patch of road. If you ride a race horse, you may have to spur him on during the last lap of a competition. Maybe you will succeed in your goal or maybe not. But the only way that animal is even capable of competing is because he has already been trained to cooperate with bit and bridle. Control is easy.
When a person exercises self-control, one of the most depressing thoughts he can have is that the struggle he is experiencing at that time is how it will be forever if he is to do what he believes he should.
But no one who learns to play a musical instrument, experiences it in his seventh year the same way he experienced it on the seventh day after he first started learning. Over time it becomes easier. Actions that he once had to remember and think about, he now executes without a thought. He occupies his mind with new challenges that are only within his reach now because of what he has trained himself to do.
Self-control may seem like self-restraint, but it is actually self-direction and self-training. It is based on the inescapable reality that God has made us stewards of ourselves, and stewardship is future-oriented. We are obligated to be aware of our circumstances and options and make the best decisions we can.
Thinking about self-control as sheer will power views the difficulties of the moment as everlasting difficulties. But that isn’t typical. Both sins and good deeds become easier to repeat after the first time. And just as vices develop and “take over” a person’s life, so do virtues.
Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble. For they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence. But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble.
Proverbs 4:14–19 ESV
Proverbs is full of exhortations to submit to wisdom’s discipline and to respond positively to rebuke. But that isn’t necessarily what characterizes a wise person’s life: “Doing wrong is like a joke to a fool, but wisdom is pleasure to a man of understanding” (Proverbs 10:23 ESV).
All the fruit of the Spirit in a person’s life can be enhanced or weakened. “Self-control” may be the fruit of the Spirit that directs the cultivation and enlarging of the rest.
Or it’s the trainer helping a colt grow into a race horse.
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.
2 Peter 1:3–7 ESV