In Solomon Says, I wrote a great deal about the temptation to sleep (or “sleep,” since I don’t think only literal unconsciousness is being warned against).
But notice that sleep is also a blessing:
My son, do not lose sight of these—
Proverbs 3:21–24 ESV
keep sound wisdom and discretion,
and they will be life for your soul
and adornment for your neck.
Then you will walk on your way securely,
and your foot will not stumble.
If you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
So what happens when you get sweet sleep?
To answer that question, lets ask another one: What happens when we are deprived of sleep? We get irritable! “Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing” (Proverbs 27:14 ESV). All the virtues Proverbs commends become more difficult with fatigue. It is harder to ignore an insult (12:26) or to stay calm when suffering opposition (29:11).
I assert in Solomon Says that an adult is not defined as being without parenting. Rather, an adult is someone who parents himself. Every parent knows that allowing a child to get inadequate sleep virtually guarantees increased behavioral problems. Being an adult may make you better able to handle times when you are fatigued, but it doesn’t make you impervious to those same problems. No one has an excuse for misbehaving, but fatigue makes it harder to behave in a way that is wise.
Thus, your duty to be virtuous and kind despite feeling horrible is real, but it is your secondary duty. Your first duty is to do what you can to get enough sleep and whatever else you need so you don’t find it so hard to be virtuous in the first place.
Your neighbors don’t want to see you trying hard to keep the fire on your property from spreading to theirs–even if you are successful most of the time. They want you to not allow the fire to start in the first place, if possible.
Of course, sometimes fatigue is not literal, but a result of voluntary stress. When we care about things inordinately that we really shouldn’t be so concerned about, that can also make us liable to lapses in behavior. So sometimes the answer isn’t that we need “self-care,” but that we really need to realize our lives are not that arduous and we should stop amplifying hardships in our own perception. God not only loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7) but a cheerful obey-er in every area of life (Romans 12:8). When we find a way to be cheerful, everything gets easier.
But there is a temptation to regard the challenge of “making bricks without straw” an opportunity for moral heroism. If we act virtuously while fatigued or stressed, we feel that is more of a credit.
Well, first of all, if it gives us credit with God, that only happens if He is the only One who ever knows about it (Matthew 6:1-6). At risk of sounding cynical about your piety, does the credit really attract you if you must keep it secret?
In the second place, you have no business jeopardizing the practice of love of neighbor for the sake of your thirst to claim moral heroism. Nor can it help you train yourself in Godliness any more than it would help in physical training (1 Timothy 4:7-8). The only way to train behavior is to execute the behavior repeatedly, over and over again without fail. To deliberately allow yourself to be in a fatigued or stressed state where you often fail, means that you never practice consistently.
There will be times when fatigue and stress are unavoidable. Do you want to face such times as a Christian trained in consistent Godly character or as one with an inconsistent record?
To put it another way, it is a snare to think that God is calling you to do hard things in passages like Romans 12 or Ephesians 4-5. Rather, he is calling you to “train yourself” so that such behavior bethcomes relatively easy. Why? Because no one can do hard things consistently or reliably. That is just what “hard” means.
When we see people do things consistently that we find hard to do ourselves, that is because they simply find the behavior relatively easy. Sometimes that is because of the way they were raised or the mysterious natural forces that produce differences in personality and attitude or temperament. More times than we care to admit to ourselves, it is because they have practiced it more consistently. And, in any case, everyone can improve with practice. The Gospel calls us to nothing less (1 Timothy 4:7-8; Titus 2:11-14).
So go to bed on time!